Once the age of (self) awareness dawns on all of us a great search for purpose begins within us. Many of us then begin a journey to find meaning for both of the world around us and the world within us. Why are we here, what do we exist to do, is there a plan?

Being found by the Love of God helps settle some of the issues, we exist by him, and for him. But often we are not really sure who we are in this divine economy.

The Bible encourages us and keeps pointing us to Jesus, we learn that we live an “exchanged life,” that he will live for us, but we often still feel like unnamed children in a family! “Oh that’s baby, we haven’t decided who she is yet!”

This is a frustrating and sometimes debilitating position. No matter how much we learn, or how many gifts are obvious to others we feel a little orphan like. We need constant affirmation and if we don’t get enough or worse people do not appreciate us, we shrivel into nameless needy shadows. Been there done that, it sucks.

Then Jesus says this

“If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (John 14:15-21)

The importance of these words are phenomenal. Bottom line the Spirit of Jesus comes into us when we believe and grants us a sense of belonging, we know we are Abba’s children, we are not orphans. We “live” because Jesus lives. The word for live is full, and indicates true life, worthy of the name, full, vigorous and blessed.

What follows is intimacy, and real communion in the Spirit. Two things have happened to me in this “space” that have given me some answers to the “who am I” question. One was a spiritual dream, and the other, more frequent, was the discovery of listening prayer.

The spiritual dream continues to help me understand what I do, the newly learned ability to listen to God has warmed my spirit and in fellowship with him I am learning who I am. There is nothing else that can remove the uncertainty or the fear that we have no place, or we do not fit.

I have a ¨secret place” and when I got there the first time (in my imagination of course, no, it’s not a sin), I discovered a safe place. A theologian I was reading asked ¨If God was going to speak to you anywhere, where would it be?¨ At first it was on a beach, but soon it became a secret hidden place, and I began to practice listening. If you need help on this subject private message me and I will recommend an awesome book.

I have found that I love it there and that listening to Jesus or the Father or the Spirit has produced a calm, and a sense of identity that is filling me with peace. I really believe that nothing else other than this intimacy will settle our angst. I know that not everyone will struggle with this lack of belonging but for those who do, the many who do, this is I believe the only answer. Intimacy. It is beautiful and it is real.

I still do not know my Kingdom name, but I commune with my Father and he knows my name. One day I will have that new name tattooed on my thigh. For now hearing him call me son is enough, and I suspect it always will be. I am his and he is mine.

“For God so loved the World He gave his one and only Son.”

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